So Shall It Ever Be

The New Year’s Anti-Resolutions: Grace at No One Watching originated this idea, and then El at Crafty Clutter took it up, too. It’s an idea I can get behind, and in fact making such a list sort of goes along with my general plan for the year. Learning to accept myself as I am is kind of a Big Deal for me, so listing stuff that I’m not going to change just to please others? Is huge.  And so, here we go.

  1. I go off on tangents a lot. It’s actually fairly difficult for me to get through even three sentences without moving on to some related topic. I am told this drives some people nuts. Well, it makes me even more nuts trying to stuff it all back down into my brain, so tough spaghetti.
  2. I am the worst visual estimator of size probably ever. Seriously. I built an entire plant light stand to start seeds last year, and I planned to put it in the closet in the office. Ha! Ha! It’s as wide as a queen bed, and our closets are about, oh, 3′ wide and less than an adult shirt deep. I also tend to think things will fit where they won’t, actually, and also that certain objects will occupy a lot more space than they do. When I post a picture of the dining room, you will laugh at how I thought a china hutch AND the chest freezer were going to fit in the same four foot square space. And in spite of this I usually fail to get out the measuring tape.
  3. I take forever to decide what I want to eat. This is true both at home and in restaurants. You know the Weird Al song, Trapped in the Drive-Thru? I’m sure the beginning is accurate in most homes, that whole “What do you want to eat?” “Well, what do YOU want?” “I don’t know, what do you want?” exchange. But even once a restaurant is selected, I must evaluate the menu for at least 20 minutes so that I don’t order The Wrong Thing. Because obviously I’ll never again visit a Culver’s so I’d better get it right. If you are in a hurry, do not take me to lunch.
  4. I’m impatient and impulsive. Yes, I’ve managed to moderate this to some degree, and I think I have reached an acceptable level of functionality, so I can’t be bothered to fix it up any further. And I know, this doesn’t really go very well with #3, above. What can I say? I am a mass of contradictions.
  5. I am a backseat driver. Being in a little metal box going 60mph scares the snot out of me. To assuage my panic attacks, I will tell you that you’re driving too fast, not applying your brakes soon enough, applying them too quickly, to get out of the passing lane, etc. In my defense, humans were not made to ride around in cars, and also I know at least three people who have been killed in auto accidents. When public transportation was an option, you bet your ass I used it.
  6. I will probably never be a tidy person. Clean, yes. Tidy, no. I used to aspire to keep a home that looked like an Ikea catalog page with all the cleanliness and lack of clutter. Then I realized I don’t even like homes like that, because they feel like airport gates or waiting rooms or something. While I am working on being MORE organized, I will never be the person whose house is always orderly. If you come over, expect to see piles of books and papers, yarn, tchotchkes, and objects I have collected — all over the place.
  7. I’ll never be a girly-girl. I’ve tried. I had a whole blog about it. I’ve decided it’s not my thing and that I don’t really care. I wear clothes that I like, and only put on makeup if I feel like it, and I have no idea how to match a handbag (PURSE, why do we have to call them handbags all the time now?) to an outfit, or shoes. I like jewelry, but not the usual sort, and I really don’t care for diamonds (ethical issues aside). If you want to show me your love with three months’ worth of pay, buy me a telescope or a spinning wheel or something.
  8. I underestimate how long things will take. In much the same way that I’m terrible at measurement estimation, I also totally bite the big one when it comes to telling you when something will be done. For some reason I am still convinced that I can knit 10 pairs of mitts in 8 days. Ha, ha. Ha. So I over-commit. I try very hard not to do it in my professional life, such as it is, but it’s probably safest to add two weeks to whatever I tell you if it’s a personal project.
  9. I hate doing dishes. And I’ll try to get out of it if there’s even a remote chance it will work. (Sorry, Zack!) I uh… well. We really need that modern miracle, the dishwasher, to enter our lives sometime soonish.
  10. I tend to get really obnoxious about animals. I have alienated several people, including my own mother, about this. I have very… strong feelings about spaying, neutering, and adopting from a shelter or rescue instead of buying, and about the commitment you make to a pet. I try to keep my piehole shut but still end up coming across as self-righteous and obnoxious when this topic arises.
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