It’s a…

I’ve been seriously remiss in updating the blog, which doesn’t surprise me or, probably, you. The holidays were a little crazy, with too much travel, and a lot of trying to get work done before I left. The upside is that there’s plenty of news to share and lots of new kitchen toys to show you (and to use for new recipes).

But first… baby update! We had our big ultrasound on December 21st. Zack and I knew ahead of time that we wanted to find out the sex of the baby; I’m impatient, and he sees it as a surprise either way, so we agreed. I could barely focus on anything or sleep as the day approached (what’s my due date going to be like?), and luckily I’d scheduled the ultrasound first thing in the morning. We got to the hospital early and I had a quick visit for the NuMoM2b study, which I really ought to write about sometime. Then we were off to imaging.

When I first saw the baby on the screen I felt really happy and noticed that the head and neck are a lot more defined now than they were around 13 weeks when we had a dating ultrasound (and certainly more than at 5 and 7 weeks, when the baby was invisible and a peanut, respectively). After what seemed like forever of taking measurements, the tech asked if we wanted to know, and we said yes. 

Baby Hoho is a boy! We both thought so and have been calling him a he for a long time now, but it was nice to have confirmation. I feel OK now buying him outfits, and apparently so do other folks; he got some VERY cute things for Christmas. He was wiggling and curled up and hiding under my belly button, so they could hardly get any of the other images they needed, but apparently he has no problem displaying his junk for all the world to see. I’m not going to put that picture on here because, you know, privacy, since the internet is forever. I will share this profile picture though:

 

This is my favorite of the images, because you can really see his nose (my aunt says it’s like my maternal family, which makes me feel happy, since I thought that too) and his cute lips there. I can almost tell a little of what he’ll look like.

We have more scans coming up, including a 3D scan sometime later or in the 3rd trimester; these are all part of the NuMoM2b study, which is pretty great. Anyway, he’s a boy! Yay! A really cute boy. It all seems more real now and I can’t wait to meet him.

15/16 Weeks

After long years of waiting, Z and I finally got a positive pregnancy test on September 12, 2012. I was so excited I was shaking, and then it didn’t seem real. It still doesn’t, and I’ve had three ultrasounds. I can’t feel baby move yet, and that bump depicted above only appeared at the end of last week, so around 15+2. It’s really only noticeable if I wear certain maternity clothes. I love it but at the same time, I’m not sure I don’t just look fat. It’s hard to believe there’s actually a baby in there.

We do have a home Doppler, and it’s gotten easier to find Hoho’s heartbeat. That’s reassuring, but I seem to forget about it quickly. I feel ungrateful, but I had really convinced myself this would never happen. I also never see babies, for the most part, so it’s like it’s all theoretical. Or something. You might look at that picture and go “oh, definitely a bump!” but if I showed you a picture of myself today you’d probably say, “hm… maybe that outfit just makes you look dumpy.” So I’m impatient for the next thing — feeling kicks; the anatomy scan; looking undeniably pregnant rather than fat. I’ve been urged not to want to rush through pregnancy since it’s such a short time, and before I was pregnant, I really thought I’d agree with that. Yet here I am wishing I could just fast forward to the part where I have a baby on the outside and I can really get to know him or her. I guess I don’t appreciate potential as much as I could. Is the baby silly or serious? Lots of hair or no hair? Does he like to snuggle or is she standoffish like me?  What will the cats think?

Symptoms, in case anyone gets here via Googling, are largely subsiding by now. Pregnancy has made my asthma much worse and I had to add a Flovent inhaler to my routine; it’s helped a lot after two weeks of twice-daily use. Previously, I felt like there was an iron band around my chest and I could never get a good breath. I have heartburn that might kill me except for the miracle of Prevacid. If I don’t keep on top of it, I also get super nauseated. I pee all the time; I thought there was a break coming for that, but so far, it’s minimal. I still wake up several times in the night to visit the restroom.

I feel guilty for not being super excited about everything that’s happening, but it turns out I didn’t want to be PREGNANT all these years; I just want to be a mom.